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Barbara James Over 50

Lives – Sydney, NSW Australia

Age - 55

 

Lana

– I asked Barbara if she would tell me about life for her after turning 50. She was very frank with her response and I thank her for her honesty and openness.

 

 

This is what Barbara had to say….

I turned 55 in July 2008.

Fifty five to a seventy five year old is young but to a twenty five year old it’s ancient. For me it’s a time to reflect, where I am in life, what have I achieved, what do I still want to achieve.
To reflect on where I am in life I must go back to my thirties where for me I think it all started.  Turning thirty was a breeze but the day I turned thirty one I cried all day as I felt I was passed it.  On my thirty fourth birthday my doctor gave me a great present with the news that I had cervical cancer, nice one.  I went home and threw whatever was in sight and then kicked the wall, why me, I had two young sons to raise, a husband who needed me and a lot of things I still wanted to do.  So, for the next twelve months I fought this disease and won, but wouldn’t you know.. while all this was going on the doctors found a problem with my heart.  This though was only a birth defect, it took them thirty five years to discover it and as it took so long to raise its head I decided to ignore it.

Those twelve months has been the building block for my life today.

My forties were a mixed bag on one hand I found my ideal job or more actuate it found me but on the other hand I lost my stepfather and my brother within twelve weeks of each other.  It was a traumatic time as one was to cancer and the other to suicide both were expected to happen one day but hard to accept, but life had to go on and I had a mother who needed my support more than ever.

My mother and I did not have a close relationship until I reached my middle forties when we could both understand each other, and as I get older I understand her even more.

My fiftieth birthday loomed and what was I going to do let it slide or celebrate it. I had suggestions from my friends who had already reached this milestone, go away and celebrate with my husband was the most popular, but, I didn’t want that I wanted to celebrate my half century.  I was proud of who I was and wanted to let everyone else to know that.  The party was planned I was having it at home and was going to do the catering myself it was going to be what I wanted.  The night went off without a hitch and now I had joined the club with the majority of my friends.

Did I feel old? Did I feel cheated? Was life all down hill from here? Well, the only one who could answer these questions and more importantly do anything about the outcome was me and me alone.

Anyone who says that they don’t feel old when turning fifty is lying and only having themselves on.  Of course I felt old, lets face it fifty years had gone by and where had they gone, wasn’t it only yesterday that I was a teenager having the time of my life.  Gee the hardest decision then was what nightclub to go to.  Fifty, my god that was a lifetime away, but here I was fifty years of age, fifty years behind me, fifty years of memories and what memories they were.  There were good memories like my wedding day, the birth of my two sons, the marriage of my youngest son but there were also the sad ones, the first broken heart that you are sure you are never going to recover from, the awkward times at school and becoming an adult., the loss of loved ones and the loss of your youth.

I sat myself down when I turned fifty and it was then that I decided life was not going to get me down and ever year I set myself goals. This year it is to overcome my fears and I must say that to date I have achieved this with a few of them and am determined to that by the end of the year I will have overcome them all.

Since turning fifty I have become more comfortable with who I am and now don’t try to be what I’m not or what other people expect me to be, that’s not to say that I don’t want to improve myself.  I now think about life in ten years time and what can I do now to make life better when that time comes around,  if I ignore it now I know that I will suffer then. In our fifties doctors tell us that we have to power to make the rest of our lives what we want them to be and I for one want it to be the best it can.

Can anyone tell my why when you reach fifty younger people think that you have gone simple in the head and that you have nothing left to offer.  I feel at times like getting them and banging their heads together and saying, hey you idiots who do you think invented most of the things you take for granted today, us old buggers.

I’ve been lucky in life, I married my soul mate and had two beautiful boys, the only regret is that I didn’t have a daughter and do wonder to this day if the two miscarriages that I had were girls.  My husband is one in a million (but I’ll never tell him that) we’ve had thirty one wonderful years together with both our ups and downs.

My two sons have finally grown into adults with both of them marrying and giving me my beautiful grandchildren. 

To me becoming a grandmother was the icing on the cake of life and this nana loves her grandson and two granddaughters (yes finally little girls to shower with love) more than life itself.  This is what life is all about, family!

Am I happy well the answer to that is easy yes? I may not be a financial as I would like to have been but I’m richer than a lot of other people.

I have my health, my family and a lot of good friends to share to rest of my life with.

Am I scared of ageing…. I won’t lie and say I’m looking forward to it but I intend to take it head on and make it the best that I can. I’m definitely not going to take it lying down and wait for old age to take over.  This I state while I’m watching my mum who turns seventy eight in 13 days mow the lawn.

We may have more memories than dreams now but the day I stop dreaming will be the day I die and boy do I hope that they dance at my funeral and remember the good times.

As they say life is for living and I for one intend to live it to the full.

“Barbara, thank you again for sharing with us the moving account of your life after 50.

We wish you good health, prosperity and much happiness.

Barbara, here’s cheers to you. Wise Woman”.

                     
Lana.

 

 

 

 

 

Gigi ! | Tuesday, January 15, 2008 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink | back to top

Comments

Keep the helpful post coming, I have been able to get what I needed from it.

http://www.pintrestalk.com/members/profile/435392/fall0iran
Posted: 28-Aug-2014 05:54 AM | Chasity |

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